(kiersten, 2nd grade)

(grace, 2nd grade)

It's beyond me where she got her smile. No doubt her overly excited, OMG-I'm-going-to-Disneyland-smile is from her father.

I wonder when that fake smile thing ended for me? I mean, occasionally, I see it in photos but just not as pronounced. It's more of a "take the damn picture" smile. These days, the dog days of summer, there are loads of smiles from my kids. What with the above ground plastic swimming pool and the trampoline, they're in kid heaven. I'm enjoying not having to rush them out the door (except for summer camp days -- god, I love those days) in the morning and deal with all the homework stuff, lunch money that I forget to give sometimes, and fundraisers. I'm still working away in my garage and am prepping for a possible writing/video gig for a very cool online site so for me, it's a bit business as usual. But for them, I see all the tension from the structured life they lead during the school year melt away. It's great when you can see your kids happy and stress-free. I'm proud to say the full-blown open mouth smiles are everywhere but dang it if I don't love the one you see above.


Summer Camp!

So I'm all better now and completely bitch-free, I promise! The life of a work-from-home mom is what it is -- most of the time great, some of the time a real pain in the arse.

The main reason I'm so chipper, you ask?!? SUMMER CAMP. 9am-4pm will be mine, all mine for five glorious days. Work will occur, of course, but I am going to take some time to do very important, high brow, things like see Twilight: ECLIPSE.



One Moment At A Time

Sometimes perspective sucks. And is very hard to find when you're completely overwhelmed. I was so zen just a couple of days ago but now I'm feeling in over my head with this whole work-from-home thing while trying to parent my kids. Like many parents, today I just bribed them with donuts and then banished them to their rooms for hours upon hours of DSI and Wii playing while I sand-n-saw away in my garage.

I will power through. I will take a shower sometime in the next 24 hours. And I will eventually get perspective back but for now I'm just gonna feel overwhelmed, bitchy, and dirty. Not the good kind of dirty either.

P.S. I'm writing this while on my lunch break from saw dust.


One Day At A Time (Not the TV Show)

You know that feeling where you start thinking about loads of stuff you have to do and somewhere inside, your emotions form a ball that starts rolling and picking up speed and eventually you know that ball is going to crash straight into your husband who didn't know you had this sphere of anxiety and can't figure out why you've suddenly turned bad on him? Maybe it's just me but that's how I feel sometimes when I know I'm faced with a to-do list that unfolds like a scroll. I started to get that feeling last night because we're back in town now after being away for a week and a half. Last night I did something I've never done before whilst in the middle of a complete high-speed downhill run. I stopped it. Not sure how I did it but I suspect is has something to do with pulling that lovely little red emergency bar called perspective.

On our trip, we visited my grandmother, Theda, who is battling lymphoma. To see her struggle to breathe was agony. She's never been sick; never even had a hospital stay. What I saw in her eyes was a mix of suffering and determination. She said she's really just taking everything one day at a time and for a woman who's always planned, plotted, volunteered, and worn out her walking shoes on a daily basis, that in itself is a very big deal. After we had already left, she underwent another procedure which cleared away a blockage so she's now able to move and breathe more freely without exhaustion. Every part of me is relieved to know she's able to now do, or partially do, the things she's loved doing and will have more time to do them before her next chemotherapy/radiation treatment. She'll have a little bit of that life back that she's had for all these years.

So today, I'm going to build some toy boxes, be with my family, and thank Grandma for stopping that damn ball.