SPRING BREAK RULES!

...and by RULES, I mean here's what we can and can't do this week:

1. Kids cannot annoy the hell out of me by complaining that they're bored. And then fight about it because they're bored.
   
   
2. Grace is allowed to put make-up on me (with her new make-up kit) so long as I always end up looking like a hooker from 1987.
   
   
3. My precious children are allowed to go with me to UPS to drop off toy boxes as long as Noah, who is 5ft 4 in., lays lengthwise across the floor by the greeting card stand while holding his combination lock above his head for inspection.
   
   
4. Mom is allowed to say "Seriously, (white car or red car or big-arse humvee or _____ car), FREAKIN' DRIVE!!!!" to the slow cars in front of her WITHOUT hearing from kids, "Mom, they can't hear you."