- Kids cannot annoy the hell out of me by complaining that they're bored. And then fight about it because they're bored.
- Grace is allowed to put make-up on me (with her new make-up kit) so long as I always end up looking like a hooker from 1987.
- My precious children are allowed to go with me to UPS to drop off toy boxes as long as Noah, who is 5ft 4 in., lays lengthwise across the floor by the greeting card stand while holding his combination lock above his head for inspection.
- Mom is allowed to say "Seriously, (white car or red car or big-arse humvee or _____ car), FREAKIN' DRIVE!!!!" to the slow cars in front of her WITHOUT hearing from kids, "Mom, they can't hear you."
SPRING BREAK RULES!
...and by RULES, I mean here's what we can and can't do this week: