(N, G and Me 2004)

I was thinking a lot about Oprah today. Not sure why but I was remembering one episode where she has stay-at-home moms and working moms as her guests and subjects. Both sets were interviewed and both sets gave their "side" as to why their way of life was better for them/children/world. I found it intriguing because there is and has always been such a war between the two groups. And it's obvious why. That's not where I'm going with this.

Here's where I'm going with this...I know a lot of my generation (mid-30 somethings) climbed the ladder, got MBAs, had kids, and after a good 10 years of high-paying, high-stress jobs, decided to stay home to raise the kids. But then what? Did you miss your corporate/working life? Was it hard to adjust to being home?

I found it's something that isn't talked about very much among Moms. I find when I say to someone that the first year at home with my then 4-year-old and 5-month old after working my ad sales job for A&E was tough, I either get a sigh of relief or a tiny almost inaudible gasp. It's like admitting you don't like your kids sometimes. The truth of the matter is it took me A LOT of getting used to not having time to myself, not being able to schedule everything exactly the way I wanted, just generally having to be pretty selfless 24/7. The good part was I didn't have the pressure to be "on" and creative at a moment's notice.

Of course, I adjusted ( and love it most of the time) and don't regret jumping off the corporate ladder but I'll always remember that first year at home after being a corporate working mom.
Maybe someone should write a book. Like "what to expect when you've left your job to stay home with your kids....and not go for Starbucks runs...and never shower....and miss client lunches." Is that too long of a title??


Anonymous said...

Jeez! How much can I relate to this?! I've just gone back to work on a part-time basis after more or less two years off work. I was at home most of the time with my eldest as I was still at university, but with #2 and #3 I've been at home and it's so fulfilling but exhausting and intensive all at the same time.

I guess the grass is always greener though. Three weeks I've been back working for, and I haven't done any crafting because I just haven't had time!

Mod Mom Furniture said...

Thanks for posting Vonnie. It's such a complicated subject and I truly hope all the judgment from both camps eases up. It's tough to be a mom no matter if you're at home or working or at home working. I personally found that my drive to be creative and earn money didn't stop when I stayed home so I knew I needed to figure out a way to do both. And since I'm much happier doing both, my kids are happier.

Carrie Kim said...

It can be hard to stay at home and I'm sure it can be hard to work out of the home too. I stay home with my 2 year old daughter and I love it. I feel lucky that I'm able to but I know exactly what you mean. It's very hard to adjust to not having any time to yourself. and there were many times when talking to family who work full time out of the home and have nannies or daycare that I thought "wow that would be nice" or "maybe they're house is so clean because no one's home most of the time. That's a good idea!" and it's frustrating when people say things like "It must be so nice to stay at home and not have to work. I would love to have all that time to myself" when I'm thinking "if I got a job I could drive in the car by myself. That would be so relaxing" :)

Zsuzsi ├ęs Anna said...

Thanks for this post. I have been at home for 7 years now, but NEVER without doing sg. This is the only way I could survive. I love them all, but I need sg. else. To feel that I did sg. today apart from loading and emptying the dishwasher and the washing machine. this way I could stay happy. ...even I have problem taking a shower sometimes! :-)

Toddler Days in Portland! said...

I have to agree! However, I find I do the Starbucks runs a lot more often now that I stay at home.